So it’s been 5 weeks since I’ve kicked off the 1300
calories per day diet (or eating plan as I like to call it).
With the competition date changes here and there,
can I honestly say that I have been 100% consistent - that would be a no.
Not only have I faced my battle with the sugar
monster but also a battle in the transition from eating five small meals a day
and NEVER being hungry, to three measured meals, a couple of snacks and constant
hunger, which means I turn hangry (hunger + angry = hangry). There is also a
part of me that feels that if I’m not eating enough calories, how will I then
grow muscles?
Let me give you some scope here. It was probably
last November when I decided that I would like to add and tick off, 'compete in
a Bikini Competition' from my bucket list..from that point on, the girl who has
never needed to be on a 'diet' had to start taking a good hard look at my food
consumption (on most days I was eating more than my massive man). I started to
become far more aware of my eating. It wasn't that I ate unhealthy before, I
have always been a fan of cooking delicious, nutritious food BUT I did have a
large tendency to bake cakes and cookies (from scratch - none of the pre
-prepared crap that seems to be so popular here) and eat it raw because there
was nothing else naughty in the house, I just generally ate what I felt like,
should the (usually sugar driven) urge take me, I also had the mentality
that as long as I trained hard, I wouldn’t need to worry.
I got that wrong.
So on my then trainers advise; I began
adopting the Poliquin style of eating. Which involves red meat and nuts for
breaky, meat and nuts for morning tea and meat and veg or fish and veg for my
last 3 meals of the day.
Not only was it expensive, but it was boring too, I
missed my fruit and craved a little more variety!
Cue the New Year and new program. I have been
thrilled with my new eating plan which has such a varied and balanced approach
but I have constant emotions which range from - 'I'm still too fat' (remember
25% body fat), to 'I have no muscle'!!
Now, annoyingly I didn't take my measurements
at the start of this diet/eating plan, nor did I weigh myself as I don't really
think that would be the most accurate way to gauge, **remember people muscle
weighs more than fat!
So, all I have is my own body dysmorphic perspective
and maybe old Mr FT - fat traps (his new nickname).
This is a frequent (and yes boring) discussion
about my body in our household and it will generally go:
Me: "do you think I've lost
weight?"
*FT sighs, "Yes baby, definitely"
Me: "You're just staying that to be nice
aren't you?"
FT: "No, I see it round your legs"
Me *Sighs* "I don't believe you"
This conversation has taken place multiple times
since starting my official comp prep 5 weeks ago….I often feel sorry for FT, he
has had to take on the role of cheerleader and motivator.
Whilst every few weeks I have freak outs about it
being too hard, these freak outs, I'm a little ashamed to say, often result in
tears (and maybe a small tantrum).
For example, this weekend just gone. I was trying
to look at my (still non existent) ass in the mirror and wondering- How.The.Hell
am I ever going to feel confident getting on stage when I have no muscle, the
end result was my inner voice telling me sternly to quit (and possibly eat some
cake), in stepped Mr Motivator- he won't let me quit, so instead we brain
stormed solutions…..
That was how I came to the conclusion that I need a
coach that is specifically trained for preparing girls for competitions,
someone that is present and involved with me while I go through this process, someone
that can prescribe me a not always fun, but results driven comp diet that will
help build muscle, someone that can give me a good kick up the butt if my
willpower falters but also get really excited when I (hopefully) progress, (my
inner child gets really pleased when I please other people). So, whilst I still
hope to work with my current trainers post comp, I need to think about my end
goal right now.
Watch this space.
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